Monday, February 15, 2010

Fatty McFat

Alllllright.

I haven't posted in a LONG time. No particular reason for it...I just didn't have any gems of knowledge to share. My mileage has peaked at 6 miles but I gotta start workin' it, I only have about two months before my race! The only problem is the snow...I can't even drive out of my driveway to get to a gym to run on a treadmill let alone run outside with this insane weather.

But on to the title of this post....

I have no idea how it happened. And I have to believe that this is water weight from being on my period (though usually that breaks once my period STARTS). But according to my scale I am FOUR POUNDS UP.

Now, technically, I KNOW that this impossible. I did indulge a little more this week--two evenings, to be exact. This is completely normal for me when I PMS. In fact, I had better control over my eating than I normally do this time around. And calculating my excess calories, I know that it's possible that maaaaybe I ate 3500 (1 pound worth) of extra calories, maybe, if I way overcalculate, maaaybe even 2. I'll go that far.

BUT FOUR?!?!?!?!

I'm not going to lie. I'm concerned. I have been a vegan now for over a month. Is it making me pork up? Sometimes certain diets are just not the best ones for your body. And looking back, when I've gone vegan before, my weight was always stubborn, but as soon as I added some extra protein back in (eggs, dairy) I dropped.

Now granted, any other woman who said she was up four pounds and was freaking out, I'd say come on, your worth is not tied up in your weight, it probably is water weight gain, etc.

But I'm an actress.

And no matter how you spin it and say it's about the art, and it IS, but commercially, I have to be thin. And actually I'm probably a little stout for industry standards--my BMI is absolutely healthy and so I am happy with that as a woman--but realistically, I know that my agent might find me more marketable 5-10 pounds lighter.

I feel defeated and upset and even a little betrayed by veganism, as ridiculous as that may sound. I didn't go vegan to lose weight. Not at all. Veganism for me is an ethical choice. But I am in a career where this matters.

Sigh.

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